Today I'm grateful for this face. Rini.She knew I needed her long before I ever did. Rini showed up at midnight a few days after my beloved Otie the devotee kitty teacher and companion of 18 years had crossed over from earth plane to the spiritual sky. He was always there, a part of me like my arm or my hair just there.

I find it easier to cry in the middle of the night the darkness seemingly offers  some safety and there was much less of a chance that I would be seen in my total crumpledness..so there I was bawling my head off alone in the dark in my bed feeling a gaping hole in the centre of my chest that that is a familiar feeling to many who grieve.. The one where there is so much pressure and space in the middle of my numb body. Thank Goddess my face was waterproof or it would have washed away in the first day like roads do in a flash flood!! I was having the kind of flood that was anything but a flash and it was put on auto repeat along with all the sounds,squeals and sobs of my own personal storm. Some days I wondered what my long range forecast was really going to be and if there would ever be a sunshiny day in my future again.

In the middle of all this I heard a noise on the deck, the kind of noise that used to sound like Otie wanting in and I cried even harder realizing never again would I hear that sound and open the door and see his cute little gray face looking at me as he rushed in with his short chirpy what- took-you-so-long meows.

The noise continued to get louder and louder so I finally came out of my tearful stupor and went to the door to see what was going on. I opened it and looked down the deck like I had hundreds of times before and saw a gray cat running towards me!! My body suddenly felt like one of those words you see in cartoons that go WOW and BAM.The energy was flowing everywhere in all directions completely amplified I KNEW I wasn't dreaming nor had my psychic vision ever been this vivid!! As  the cat came closer and closer I soon realized it wasn't Otie but now that didn't matter!! I bent down and the purring got louder as she began to do everything Otie  had ever done. She jumped up across my one cheek and rubbed it with hers then landed on the ground again on all 4 paws before jumping up again and doing the same thing on the other side of my cheek her little paws landing in the middle each time hearing that kitty paws thud on the ground but before she jumped up and did the same thing to the opposite cheek the way cats do as they mark things as theirs. This was one of Otie's favorite things to do!! Then after a bit she ran across the deck to catnip planter that was just below the deck and went upside down as she twisted her head to munch on the catnip while hanging on to the bottom of the railing with her paws!! Otie had done that move sooo many times!
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 I was mesmerized and delighted beyond belief!!! Then she ran back over to me as I was still squatting down in the doorway and she started doing this crazy running quickly just in across the door frame and then back out,over and over again in a big gray enthusiastic blurr!!! Finally I said Oh kitty you can come in you know..you don't have to keep going back and forth across the threshold… …… OMG!!! ….BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE THRESHOLD????? A chill went up my spine...and I knew..really knew that what one of the sympathy cards said was true “ The body may die but the relationship we have with our loved ones is eternal.”

Suddenly a wave of excitement and hope washed over me as I picked up this purring fur ball hugged her close with gratitude oozing out of every cell!! When I put her back down she ran off into the night. I went back to bed and slept deeply for the first time since Otie’s passing.

The next day my new life began and that is a story for another day!!

I am sending you all love peace and purrrs from my tender heart to yours!!! xoxo
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One thing I have learned over my lifetimes is to always be ready to receive the best outcome no matter how hopeless present circumstances may seem. My person tells this story:
" Once my cat was acting strange and I went up to him and noticed the tiniest of feathers just barely coming out of his mouth! I quickly realized that is must be a hummingbird, so I did everything I could to get him to open his mouth which wasn't easy! ( I finally plugged his nose..) and when his mouth popped open the hummingbird flew out and away in a quick flash!!
So there the little bird was, in the jaws of the predator, surrounded by sharp teeth, almost swallowed and what are the chances that someone would come and help? Many would have given up at this point. The hummingbird saw the miracle in a split second, grabbed the impossible and flew with it! Never give up on your dreams! Give wings to YOUR impossible today!! "